As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Girls should come with a carfax report
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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