Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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