You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
