Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
