Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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