I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
