I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How external is "for external use only"?
foreskin is a definite game changer
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
