i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
