he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
