YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
