well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
