You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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