she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
