just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
