i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
