We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize