Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
