I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He kissed a someone with a penis
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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