Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
