Porn is love you can see.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
