ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
