Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
