i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sorry about my life...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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