You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
