he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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