Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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