thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
