Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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