Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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