she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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