I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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