I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
