just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
