the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
