i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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