I love black thongs
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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