At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
