She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
