Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Your penis caused this!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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