Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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