I wanna passion pit in your ass
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
