And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
