You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
