Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.

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(949): View more from California

even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that

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(330): View more from Ohio

oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle

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(516): View more from New York

Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"

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(909): View more from California

I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.

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(319): View more from Iowa

She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!

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(269): View more from Michigan

A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy

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(740): View more from Ohio

I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!

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