THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
