covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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