I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
