Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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