I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
