I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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